“I’m going to drink celery juice every day until I lose 30 pounds and my skin feels like a baby’s butt!”

Probably, you’re not. Not just because it’s a silly and unrealistic resolution, but because resolutions pinned to specific actions and outcomes set us up for failure. Which is why, come February, most of us are back to biting our nails, skipping our morning meditations and evening walks, and binge-watching Netflix instead of reading uplifting literature.

James Clear, author of Atomic Habits, writes that “Real, lasting change doesn’t start with what you do, it starts with who you are.” In other words, trying to change what you do without identifying the new you who does those things is an exercise in futility. Rather than proclaiming that you want to lose 30 pounds by drinking celery juice, which tries to leverage specific actions and outcome to create lasting change, you could instead claim the version of you that you want to become: “I am becoming a fit and healthier person.”

Your behavior changes when you ascribe to a new identity – “I’m a non-drinker”; “I’m becoming a clean and organized person” – as opposed to beating yourself up with wishy-washy hopes like “I’m trying to cut down on my drinking,” or “I’m trying not to be such a mess.”

I wasn’t always good at this. I used to tell myself, “Maybe I’ll go to swim class tomorrow if I’m not too tired,” a hedging-my-bets thought that’s an obvious set-up for failure, as opposed to a clear and positive statement like, “I’m the type of person who doesn’t miss workouts.”

When I say I’ll do something if I feel like it or if I have time, I give myself an out. Nothing changes, and my old behaviors are reinforced. There’s a disconnect between who I say I want to be and the choices I make.

Obviously, one swim class isn’t going to radically transform me, but aligning myself with who I aspire to be creates small actions and behaviors that build on themselves, like small deposits in a bank account. One single deposit won’t set me up for retirement, but if I continue to consistently make deposits, I’m not only creating new habits that support my new identity, I’m also incrementally making progress toward my goals.

I’m a fit and healthy person. I’m financially responsible. I chose to claim those identities and then support them with aligned action.

Clear says creating new habit is a two-step process:

1. Decide who you want to be (an athlete, a stellar parent, a leader, a musician, a non-drinker). Can’t decide? What do you want to stand for, be known for, or wish to become?
2. Invest in your new identity and reinforce the person you want to become with small wins (put $10 in the bank every week, find one way to praise your children every day, practice piano for 15 minutes a day).

This can lead to genuine, long-lasting beliefs and habits that, over time, create meaningful change:

• Each time you put a nickel in your IRA, you are a fiscally responsible person.
• Each time you exercise, you are an athlete.
• Each time you encourage your children, you are a teacher.
• Each time you practice the piano, you are a musician.
• Each time you praise your students, you are a leader.

Why don’t more of us do this? Because our society is, by and large, results-oriented. That can feel exciting, but results don’t tend to be achieved through massive action but from incremental changes over time.

Start, not with what you do, but with who you are or aspire to be. When you get clear on your identity, on the version of you who shows up for yourself and the world, the how becomes organic and second-nature. You’ll be making deposits in the Bank of You in no time.