been thinking a lot lately about the state of being stuck. When I wrote
down
the word "stuck," I immediately noticed that by dividing the word in
half, you
have two distinct words:
STU
and UCK
Many
of my clients hire me because they feel stuck in
their
job, stuck in their marriage,
stuck at home raising their children or just a general stuckness without
any
idea as to why. They are, in many cases, STU-ing in the UCK.
Several
years ago,
I felt stuck myself.
I was selling "widgets."
While
providing me with
a lucrative part-time
income, my job simply lacked the inherent personal and professional
growth that
I secretly longed for. Each time I went to work, I looked and felt like a
sloth,
painfully moving through my day, often counting the hours until it was
over. It
was as pathetic as watching paint dry.
Feeling
hopeless, depressed and panicked, I was convinced that I couldn't just
up and
leave my cushy job.
I mean, how could I quit something I could
do in my sleep? How could I leave the income I was earning, earmarked
for my
children's educational account and all the goodies we enjoyed –
especially when it was so abundant?
Although
I had a laundry list of logical reasons why it was crazy to leave my
job, I was
beginning to develop headaches and noticed that I felt inclined to
either
remodel my face or buy a new home we simply couldn't afford. I convinced
myself
that more square footage in a nicer neighborhood and smoother lines
around my
eyes would do the trick. Celebrities do it and we all know how deeply
happy
they are! Not!
The
real truth was that I was scared of what I didn't know: the
future and my destiny.
I
STU-ed in the UCK for five years.
What
I have since learned is that it's not being stuck that is so bad–it's
the STU-ing part that creates the frustration and negative emotions.
When I felt
stuck, my mind was simply seeking expansion, growth, and a deeper sense
of
meaning. Being stuck was my wakeup call-my internal notification system
was
knocking at my door and telling me "hey woman, you are meant to do
something
bigger in your life – this job is no longer serving you and
you need something new."
I STU-ed in it because I ignored the signs.
So,
how do you get out of the state of stuckness? This is what works for me:
1. Acknowledge that you feel stuck with compassion and
without judgment.
2. Stop telling yourself and everyone else how stuck you
are. This only reinforces the story of stuckness and the negative
feelings that
are associated with it. If you don't know if or how often you are doing
this,
enlist a friend to help raise your awareness level.
3. Take action and
practice fearlessness. Do something different – anything. Take a new
route to work.
Engage
in a right brain activity like drawing or dancing. Walk
backwards. Sing
out loud. Apply
for a new job. Buy
some sexy lingerie and spice
up your marriage. Just do
something!
The
good news is that being stuck is often just
a temporary state and you
get to decide how long to stay there.
Life
truly is about death and rebirth. When
you stop the STU-ing, pull
the dead weeds, and let go of what is no
longer nourishing your soul,
you
create the space for something new–and
sometimes even save yourself the
new home and surgery costs!
THE
DILEMMA
To
laugh is to risk appearing a fool.
To
weep is to risk appearing sentimental.
To reach out for another is to risk involvement.
To
expose feelings is to risk rejection.
To
place your dreams in front of the crowd is to risk ridicule.
To
love is to risk not being loved in return.
To
go forward in the face of overwhelming odds is to risk failure.
But
risks must be taken because the greatest hazard in life is to risk
nothing.
The
person who risks nothing does nothing, has nothing, is nothing.
He
may avoid suffering and sorrow, but he cannot learn, feel, change, grow
or
love.
Chained
by his certitudes, he is a slave.
He
has forfeited his freedom.
Only
a person who takes risks is free.
- Author Unknown
