A recent study by Psychology Today revealed that of our approximately 75,000 daily thoughts, approximately 80% are negative. No wonder we're so tired and need to lie down!
In the years I've been coaching, what my clients want most is to learn new ways to eradicate those 60,000 negative thoughts each day. Though we can’t get rid of all 60,000 negative thoughts, there are strategies that help to manage that invited mind crap, so it’s not acting as general managers of our brains.
A few months ago I came across a very funny YouTube video from an old Bob Newhart show that got me thinking about a new way to manage brain garbage.
Let me explain:
For those of you too young to remember, the Bob Newhart show was a popular sitcom in the 70's starring comedian Bob Newhart. Newhart played Robert Hartley, a psychologist.
Let’s watch:
My coach colleagues and good friends have have been teasing me that “STOP IT!” is my newest coaching tool. Although not a part of my official coaching toolkit, I must admit that it has worked wonders with my dog and, on occasion, with my husband. I've even recently used it on myself with some decent results.
Newhart's comedic scene did get me thinking about how to better manage the traffic flow of my thoughts. So, I did a little experiment with myself. What if I gave my negative feeling thoughts less attention and my positive feeling thoughts more attention? All thoughts are not created equal, and they don't deserve the same degree of attention, do they?
I decided it was time to become more vigilantly aware of my thought patterns and employ the STOP IT phrase whenever my thoughts give me "the ick."
The results of my experiment?
Perhaps I should brush my teeth.
I do think this deserves my attention or the people who sit near me could pass out. My business might suffer too. And my love life will likely deteriorate. Yes, brushing my teeth deserves my full attention. Everyone appreciates this.
There are other things I can think about besides my job.
This feels fantastic – So fantastic that I bask in it as though my body is being warmed by the sun. I decide that this thought deserves much more of my attention. In fact, I like it so much I even offer it a two-fer: Buy one night, get the next one free. Even thoughts appreciate an incentive to return.
I can't work full time and take care of my family (God knows I've worked this one six ways to Sunday!)
This thought feels like the ick I have in my mouth from not brushing my teeth, so this is where I tell myself to Stop It.
After much self-coaching, I decide this thought simply doesn't deserve the same kind of attention as the ones above, mostly because it's a lie. The ick is the clue and I can name a thousand people who have successful careers and raise a family. And, guess what? I've been doing it for four years now and although it appears messy, I'm doing it.
Next time an uninvited thought shows up at your door, just say "STOP IT." Say it out loud if you need to and ask yourself if it deserves your attention. If the thought feels good, wallow in it for awhile and invite it back. If it gives you the ick don't give it the attention that it doesn't deserve!
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