My
turbulent path to becoming a coach was similarly fraught with low
self-confidence, impulsive stop and starts, and a fear so great that,
like a squirrel, the chances of my survival was dubious at best.  The
ancient, reptilian (one could even say squirrely) part of our brain is
largely responsible for insisting that we don't have enough of
something–safety, food, money, lip gloss–and if we're not on high
alert at all times, then something awful will happen. 
It is so adept at crafting and collecting evidence to match your painful
thoughts (I call 'em mind poop) that you might even find yourself
hiding under the covers, eating microwave popcorn and watching re-reruns
of Leave it to Beaver.  Not that I did that, but it could happen.

The Mind Poop

My
stubborn and crappy belief was that I was incompetent, and that without
warning someone very important was going to discover that I was a fraud
and broadcast it to the entire world!  As a result, my inner world
resembled a beady-eyedwild woman continually scavenging for her favorite
drugs,
Validation, and her best friend, Reassurance.  Outwardly,
I frequently relied on external factors like clients, teachers, and
grocery store baggers for feedback, recognition and false confidence
. And when I didn't get an "atta girl", I was filled with so much dread
and self-doubt that I contemplated quitting and enjoying longer dates in
bed with my popcorn and TV set.  If you don't believe me, this is an
excerpt from an email I sent my coach mentor dated May 3, 2007 after she
gave me some feedback on my coaching:

"I am feeling pretty junked.  I feel it is time to quit. Thank you for your help"

If
you resonate with anything I've said so far, read on for some of the
most common kinds of mind poop and how to trade them in for true
self-confidence:

• 
  If I make a mistake I will die. 
  Unlike a squirrel, whose mistake may be tragic, yours likely won't kill
  you-so don't get carried away when you make them.  Look at your
  mistakes through the eyes of your intellect and spirit, not your
  automatic fear response.  Research has shown that those who continually
  worry about making mistakes shut down access to the creative part of
  their brain and make less progress.  Those who accept that mistakes will
  happen and are relaxed about it learn much faster.

• I 'm just not smart enough, good enough, etc
  . According to Heidi Halverson, author of Succeed," many of us
  believe that our intelligence, our personality, and our physical
  aptitudes are fixed – that no matter what we do, we won't improve.
  Consequently, we focus on goals that are all about proving ourselves,
  rather than developing and acquiring new skills. Abilities of all kinds
  are profoundly malleable. "If you're learning a new skill, whether it's
  coaching, skiing or mastering a French manicure, focus on "getting
  better" vs. "being good."  Look for where you've made progress rather
  than what's lacking.

• I have to do it right–aka I need it to be perfect!
  Perfectionism is not the quest for the best; it's a pursuit of the worst in ourselves, says Julia Cameron, author of The Artist's Way.
  Ask yourself what you would do if you didn't have to do it perfectly?  I
  bet a nickel that it's a lot more fun, engaging and creative than what
  you're busy not achieving behind the veil of perfectionism.

• I can't handle it
  .  Fear is instinctual and alerts us when there is real trouble.  In
  other cases, it can cause hopelessness, paralysis and ultimately trap
  our reservoir of energy.  My guess is that many of you have had to face
  some pretty tough situations (divorce, death of a loved one, a job loss,
  etc.,) and you handled it.  According to Susan Jeffers, author of Feeling the Fear and Doing it Anyway, "believing that you can handle your fears is the key to allowing yourself to take healthy and life affirming risks".  What is one thing you would do if you believed you could handle anything that came your way?

• I Just feel crappy about myself.
  Make a list of all your positive characteristics, traits and
  attributes.  Enlist others to help make the list unique and
  all-inclusive.  Add any positive comments, feedback and testimonials you
  receive, then post it where you can see it.  Read as often as needed
  and let the deliciousness of your beauty sink in.

Unlike
the squirrel, who truly risks his life scurrying to cross the street,
remember that the only "real" danger you face is the illusion that you
are not perfectly enough just the way you are.