Often times this is the only question I ask my clients. These three little words in the form of a question have a way of kicking your dirty little thoughts right out the window.
Next time you have a negative feeling, whether you’re angry, irritated, stressed or sad, ask yourself, “what’s the thought that is causing me to feel this way”? Once you’ve identified the thought, apply the three little words “is it true” to your thought. Here’s an example:
Feeling: I’m irritated
Thought: My husband plays too much golf
Question: Is it true? (It must be verifiably true)
Answer: No
Stops you in your tracks doesn’t it? What amount of golf is too much? According to whom or what? If it’s according to you, are you God? Why do you get to decide if your husband golfing two times a week, three times a week or five times is too much?. What if he decided that your owning more than three pair of shoes is excessive. You’d call him crazy. And you would be right….(what woman owns less than 15 pairs?). But his hypothetical thought would most likely create tension between the two of you, possibly an argument. Why? Because of his thought that’s why. Same applies to you. Your thoughts when they remain unquestioned cause you pain. Start the inquiry process with these three little words and you will be amazed how it shifts your perception.
Here’s another example. In this example, I will use the thought first:
Thought: My mom should stop giving me advice
Feeling: Uncomfortable, anxious, annoyed
Question: Is it true? (verifiably true?)
Answer: No
Why is the answer no? Because your Mother gives advice and when you argue with that reality as Byron Katie says, you lose, but only 100% of the time. Stop fighting with reality. Each time you fight with what is happening, you create a lot of resistance. It’s like swimming upstream, against the current or going the wrong way on a one way street. Your Mom gives you advice because that’s what your Mom does. She’s always done this and she probably always will. Surrender to what is and you will release the fight.
Here’s another example:
Thought: I can’t quit my job
Feeling: Stuck, angry, frustrated
Question: Is it true?
Answer: Of course not!
You will most likely discover a cluster of other poisonous thoughts surrounding the “I can’t quit my job” thought which may include “I owe it to my family, I’ll never make enough money elsewhere, I don’t know what else to do”, yada, yada, yada. Apply the three little words and notice how often your answer is “no” if you’re telling the truth that is. You will be amazed at how this loosens and alters your belief system which will ultimately improve the situation, enhance your relationship with the other person and create better feeling thoughts. Isn’t that what we all want? To feel better? I know I do!
