Every year I weed my garden.  I try to weed whatever doesn’t feel good.  That includes chores, inanimate objects (dying plants) and yes, people too.  I use the Bag It, Barter It, Better It tool that Martha Beck developed.  It’s a brilliant exercise that you can do on our own which requires you to evaluate how and where you spend your time.  You may have used this if you’re my client and if so, you should do it again if it’s been a year or longer. I did this exercise last year and it changed my life.    I bagged picking up the dry cleaning (I have a pickup/delivery service) and making dinner every night during the week (my husband picks up something on the way home). These two things alone made me want to dance on my dining room table. 

Last year I bartered with my children and they now feed the dog, set and clear the table nightly, washes the dishes and take out the trash (more dancing).  My son even puts away all my groceries when I arrive home from the grocery store (I feel the jitterbug coming on).  These things make me want to kiss my children but only after I kiss myself for being so brilliant and realizing I don’t have to be General Manager of the Universe.

I bettered the tasks I really don’t care for, like grocery shopping by buying myself a yogurt on the way home.  (Think John Travolta, Staying Alive!)

This year I’m going to do the same exercise because I noticed that I’ve unconsciously added things to my “to do” list without my complete consent. In other words, I let my sub-conscious mind, the default mode part of my mind, agree to things without running it by my conscious mind first. Okay, so I’m human.  For example, becoming a coach has required me to learn all this new technology;  I had to learn how to record coaching sessions, classes and convert them from a WAV file to an MP3 file.  I didn’t’ even know what those terms meant.  I just know I was required to do it if I wanted to become a Master Coach and teach which I did.  So, learning this suddenly felt like a choice (vs. an obligation) because the end result (becoming a Master Coach and teaching) felt so incredibly delicious.   When something you do emanates from choice and not from obligation, it feels so EASY.  Then I decided I wanted to create a newsletter.  I spent hours going thru tutorials, talking to customer service and really techie people who threw around words that were as foreign as Swahili to me.  Each time I thought about my newsletter I got excited.  Creating the template, not so exciting.  I finally decided to listen to my body which felt like someone dropped a boulder at the base of my neck.  I hired someone very inexpensively to design, implement and distribute my newsletter.  It was worth every penny.  It freed me up to do the things that I love, that bring energy, vitality and bliss to my life…..coaching, writing, spending time with my family, biking and reading.  This is the bonus part of weeding my garden.  Doing things that feel good as much as I possibly can.

So here’s how you can weed your own garden.  Make a list of all the things you have to do.  Then pick out the tasks that create any sort of stress or tension.  Ask yourself WHY are you doing this?  What would happen if you didn’t?  Why would that be so horrific?   Do this with your chores, the plants you keep watering that you really don’t like and yes, the people you spend your time with.    If you can’t bag the task, consider bartering it.  Trade with someone who loves to do what you hate and vice versa.  If this isn’t possible, brainstorm on how you can make the task more pleasurable. 

So, what will you weed out this year?  It may or may not be obvious but I guarantee you if you take the time to complete this exercise, you’ll discover a brown patch somewhere.  Imagine having that space empty and allowing it to birth something new, something green, perhaps something beautiful.